Generations

Children of Vietnam Veterans have a 3 times higher rate of suicide than others of our generation. There have only been a few studies done on us. What they have found out is boys have usually had it harder because fathers tend to be harder on them. They found that most children fall into one of three groups. The first one being where the child identifys with the PTSD parent so much so that they woory constantly about them. The second one becomes the peacemaker. They have found that sometimes the chidl practically becomes the parents because they share so much of the adult burden. The third group is anti social. They want nothing to do with the family unit.

This is a brief listing of what they have found. I feel not only is there one generation of children who have grown up like this but with the Iraqi War we are going to have numerous generations of children growing up like this.

Some of the symptoms of PTSD are anger, paranoia, trouble with relationships, substance abuse, depression, and lonliness. There are others, but anger is a big one. Alot of times it is an irrational anger where one minute everything is wonderful and the next an explosion happens. The anger can be very frightning at times too.

When you live with this type of anger, it's hard to develop relationship because you usually see people as either with you or against you. If the person agrees with you then they are with you, if they disagree then they are against you.

My dad use to view life this way, and I have to say so did I for a long time. Now, I realize that people have a right to their opinions and just because they disagree with you doens't mean they are against you, or hate you.

It's really hard to break through this kind of all or nothing thinking, but it can be done with some help.

One of the place where Vets and families of Vets can get help are the Vet Centers. They are located across the country. They have counselors trained in PTSD who can help Vets and their families for free. It's a wonderful place to go. They can't advertise the government won't let them but I can tell you all to go to the Vet Center.

You're Not Crazy

Hi, my name is Lisa and I am a daughter of a Vietnam Veteran. I have spent most of my life feeling different from all the others my age. I spent most of my life not wanting to act like my father. What I mean by that is my father had some erratic behavior. He would get angry at the drop of a hat for no apparent reason. One day the rules would be one way and the next they would change. He never had alot of friends and he always thought people were against him. Things always had to be his way. He never spent alot of time with me.
Years later, we realized he had PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). He had all of the symptoms of course we never knew that. He would never talk about Vietnam, ever. His medals hung on the wall but I never knew why they were there. He was a medic and won several medals including th esilver star. I realized one day a few years ago that I had become just like him. I had secondary ptsd. It's very common for children who live with a parent who has ptsd to develop those symptoms too.
I wanted to know more about my fellow children of vets and found there was nothing written about us. A whole generation ignored. I am working on a book about children of vietnam vets and the similarities between us and the iraqi vets families.
I started this blog so there will be a place for us to talk and learn that we are not damaged or crazy. We just didn't know any better. We don't have to suffer like out parents did. My dad is getting the help he needs. I will put more info about ptsd and how vets can get help as well as their families. Also, if anyone would like to be a part of my book. I will post that info as well.
I hope this can help our generation heal a little better.
Lisa